can I have this now, please.

so right about now I want to quit school and live in a hut. the only thing cool about this week is that I got to measure my own heart's electrical output and print my own EKG. Oh, well you know that's not the only cool thing, God is of course at work here in my life which is sometimes painful, mostly joyful and always incredibly overwhelming (in the best sense). so I guess in full recap this week has been glorious, please just let me ace my test...

a love letter for you, and this is my favorite.

(via aloveletterforyou.com)

I have the most beautiful sister in the world, thank you to my friend Amber for capturing these.

"'... whenever the heart begins to burn with a desire for God, she is made able to receive the uncreated light and, inspired and fulfilled by the gifts of the Holy Ghost, she tastes the joys of heaven. She transcends all visible things and is raised to the sweetness of eternal life... Herein truly is perfect love; when all the intent of the mind, all the secret working of the heart, is lifted up into the love of God.' That God can be known by the soul in tender personal experience while remaining infinitely aloof from the curious eyes of reason constitutes a paradox best described as

Darkness to the intellect

Sunshine to the heart

-Frederick W. Faber"

Exerpt from The Knowledge of the Holy, A.W. Tozer

i love captured rain drops.

10.19.10

belle and sebastian love today.

I just downloaded every belle and sebastian song ever recorded onto my ipod and just thought I'd share the love today.

love, love, love.

mexico.medical.missions.I

seeing my previous blogs reminds me how inconsistent I am. I want to live my life entirely for Christ but then go and post a blog about how I want Chloe $400 shoes. really? Wow. Life in perspective, keep me in check people. I thank the Lord He is merciful and gracious. Speaking of grace here is my post about God graciously letting me go to mexico:




After tossing and turning all night I woke up at 5am to start my day, not pretty. I was so tired I could barely stand; I stumbled to get dressed, grabbed my iced coffee (made the previous day) and took my breakfast to go. I prayed on the way that God would fill me with energy for the day, that despite not knowing anyone I would be able to convey my joy and excitement for serving alongside these people and be intentional about getting to know them. I also prayed that God would give me a spirit of flexibility, although I knew how I wanted the day to go, I wanted first and foremost to be moved by His spirit (this was really spoken out of fear that I would have to do children’s ministry, something I’m not particularly good at). And of course, God totally gave me natural joy in Him and the energy that I had been praying for, I was able to meet some amazing women and the car ride down to Mexico was so uplifting!

Crossing the border into Mexico, I felt a strange feeling, one I’ve had before: you’re home. I’m not really sure what this means seeing as I’ve had this feeling in numerous countries in Central America but it brought me to tears. Through the short thirty minute drive to Rojo Gomez God continually whispered to me, 'these are my people, I know each of their names and have knitted each one in their mother’s womb, please love them'. I was so excited and filled with a divine peace, I couldn’t wait to see God move.

We arrived at the school, unpacked all the equipment and received our assignments. I was assigned to dental! Now, I don’t want to be a dentist but I was so excited to be able to assist Ed, my new dentist friend from Egypt, and see how this ministry works in a really up close and tangible way. So, with all the student desks sterilized, having learned how to work the portable autoclave and how the order of the room would work, we suited up in our “sterile” suits, eyes glasses, face masks, gloves, and began pulling teeth.

Now God is again, so amazing. He totally placed me in a room where I could be excited and have hands on experience to medical missions but He did not forget to remind me to lean on Him. The majority of our patients were children. Man, I thought normal child interaction was difficult for me but trying to calm down a child who is about to have a giant needle shoved into their gums and their teeth yanked out was faaaaar beyond my scope of skills. Wouldn’t you know it, God totally worked in me! I was able, in spanish mind you, to calm and support these little ones and have love, compassion and joy in doing it. Memories of working with those children bring a smile to face even as I write this.

The day ended with so much love and excitement at seeing God work by not only healing physically but by showing each one of us His love for humanity. God has bigger and better plans than I could ever imagine and I am constantly reminded of this. To God is the glory.

PS- Please pray for our dear sweet child Jose, he is 10 years old with muscular dystrophy. He is a brave little boy with so much life to live. Pray for the Lord to take a hold of his heart and please pray for healing.

"If you are what you should be, you will set the whole world ablaze."
-Catherine of Siena

i think paris is too!

via cup of jo

i really like to drink juice from a juice glass.

photo via the kitchn

the beauty of brokenness

There is a prayer that may not have been prayed for me, but it certainly has been answered in my life. I thank God the the shattered dreams of my heart and His longing to chase after me.

"May this beautiful young woman, still my treasured little granddaughter, discover that place in her heart where she desires You above everything else. May she discover that place in her heart that only love flowing from Yours can fill.

"Please, Lord, shield her from every useless trial, protect her from pointless pain, but-grant me the courage to mean this-allow whatever dreams to shatter that will release her heart to meet Yours, that will empower her to rest in Your ecstatic love, no matter how empty and desperate she may feel.

"Reveal the beauty of Your life to her and through her, whatever it takes. But, Lord, I beg you-be very gentle."

- Larry Crabb

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

"And you do not need my forgiveness, nor I yours; it's all the same whether you forgive or not, all my life you will remain a wound in my soul, and I yours-that's how it should be..."

-The Brothers Karamazov, Dostoevsky

06.19.10

Katie's 2nd bridal shower... counting the days till JULY 26!

I'm longing for the Getty Center again... perhaps next week will provide a time.

06.08.10

june gloom.

06.03.10

farmer's market cookie sandwich. delish.

Dear Boarding Passes

thx thx thx

It's funny how some things are truly universal. There are leftover boarding passes in countless books on my shelves. Sometimes I'm surprised by them and sometimes I purposefully grab a book just to remind myself of another time. I can't wait to go to New York, Boston and Connecticut this summer! Now I just need to make sure I don't end up taking borrowed books on the planes...

PS- I hate the eticket; it's convenient but they steal your printed piece of paper when boarding (not like I wanted to keep it, but still...).

06.01.10

my favorite, daniel's tacos in sun valley.

05.31.10

happy 21st birthday ally!

It's way too weird that the small little girls that found their way into my heart are growing up so quickly. They'll even graduate college before I will! Dang, I love all these girls!

05.29.10

themed take two.

05.28.10

peaceful rest stop.

05.25.10

finals are completed and summer has begun.

05.24.10

the many ways we communicate in this house.

05.23.10

ahhhhhh... we really don't know what this means.

05.22.10

jennifer's 16th birthday BBQ.

Celebrating our dearly loved Jennifer's birthday was a nice break from the blasted week of studying I've just come from. Chandra and I arrived a little late due to work but there was still tons of pizza and s'mores left. We're not fans of the cold pizza so leave it to Craig to cook up some fire roasted pizza in the most literal way. Sooo good!

05.20.10

final season.

One final down and two more to go... if only this iced coffee tasted good.

As finals are soon approaching, I'm studying like a mad woman, palming through all my notes and vigorously reading through the chapters of my text book. This mostly makes me happy but also makes me sad. When I'm reminded how widely accepted abortion is here my heart breaks over and over.

"Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching its people to love, but to use any violence to get what it wants."

-Mother Teresa

05.16.10

how did i not see the retaliation coming?

"if you look after goodness and truth beauty will take care of itself."

- Eric Gill An Essay on Typography

05.15.10

prom diggity.

My sister is such a beautiful young woman, if only she knew that. I guess that's how God views us through the blood of Christ. We must all remember our true identity and not believe the lies of the prowling lion.

05.14.10

happy 50th birthday steve!

I'm blessed to have such a great family; instead of one dad and one mom, I have multiple. Steve has worked hard for our family to enjoy living the "high life." He also allows me to live at home, he calls it something like "failure to launch," but I'm not really sure what he means by that. ;)

P.S. - My mom got him this awesome tequila shooter.

05.13.10

international delight.

05.12.10

little sheep brain.

I ran out of dissecting gloves last week and forgot to purchase more over the weekend so I decided to steal a pair of food service gloves from work. A little too big but definitely worth it. I dissected this brain 4 weeks ago... it's very ripe and squishy but the worst part is since it's easy to handle it's also easy to forget not to bring it too close to your face; the smell isn't pleasant.

05.05.10

the title is untitled.

Hot chocolate on a stick makes me want to bypass summer and have cold weather again. Wait, what did I just say?

hysterical.

This entertains me mind.

05.07.10

girl's night out in style.

05.05.10

chandra de mayo.

My beautiful sister is growing up! I can't believe that she is becoming a real person; she has her own thoughts, ideas, and goals! It's amazing to see her being shaped! My prayer is that she would become who she is, and that truth is found only in the Lord. I love her more than I could ever express. Happy Birthday little dude!

05.03.10

random things make me laugh while driving.

05.02.10

Katie's bridal shower!!!

iiiinteresting....

I must be in a melancholy mood

since I kind of want to see this.

04.30.10

fiberglass in foot means we get to use the microscope light.

04.29.10

mom's kale soup is delish.

04.28.10

smashed fries make me laugh.

04.27.10

happy birthday to the one I'm proud to call mom.

Today my mom turned another year older. It is cliche to say that one gets better with age but it's true; my mom's continually being refined by fire and endures it with a smile. She has been my cheerleader through life (although I haven't always appreciated it) and encouraged me to fight the fight. Recently she's instilled in me the importance of hope. I love you mom, thank you for bearing me into this world.

04.26.10

one for you, one for me.

Okay, I wasn't totally sold on the whole two in one ring but now I'm totally on board. As I was shopping for my mom's birthday, I came across this gem of a ring. Later, I came home and just like a little girl walked right up to my mom and said, "look mom, look what I found for myself while shopping for you!" Haha, needless to say my mom smiled nicely and told me as long as I like it, that's all that matters (she apparently does not like it). I don't care... I love this ring.

PS- I hope my mom likes her gift.

First and last, what is demanded of genius is love of truth.

-Goethe

04.22.1o

late night studying.

04.21.10

late to school again, stopped to stare at the sky.

04.21.10

chicks came in the mail.

the list.

Here is what I want to do this summer, the list will keep growing as I become aware of more marvelous things to do.

Hollywood Bowl:

The Swell Season, She and Him concert

Sergio Mendes & Friends, Morcheeba

Sarah Chang Plays Shostakovich

Getty:

Old Testament Imagery in Medieval Christian Manuscripts

Baseball:

Angels vs. Sox

(plus any other games people want to take me to).

My friends and I are also trying to get a Yosemite trip together, which would be absolutely amazing.

I also want to spend my days bike riding along the board walk, eating fish tacos and reading my books(TBD), oh, and swimming, lots of swimming in the ocean!!!

04.18.10

post church photosesh.

04.16.10

when did irvine turn ghetto?